As children, we are always taught to “do our best”, “go for the gold”, “get to the top”, but the importance of failing, never seems to reach the same conversation. Why is that? Even as an adult now, we see new things or want to develop a new hobby, but we don’t. It is because, we are afraid to fail. Over time a person can develop the fear of failing, whether it be because they don’t want to disappoint themselves, someone else, or be judged by others. The real question becomes, how can we teach our children, and even ourselves how to fail.
The experience of failing is important, so that we grow in areas we are not naturally talented in. The other side of failing that we don’t acknowledge is how to register the emotions that come with failure. I have seen a high school student cry because they did not receive over 90% on a test, a baseball player throws their equipment because of a bad play or losing the game. These reactions are not healthy and can transfer into relationships, as a child ages, if they do not know how failing makes them feel and what to do about it. Gardening is a place of complete vulnerability, you cannot intimidate flowers into growing better, which leads to reflecting upon yourself. Did you forget to water your garden? Did a pest eat all of your plants? Has it rained non-stop and ruined your hard work? These are simple things that happen in every garden, and we learn how to process it and move forward. Those skills developed in the garden transfer very well into our lives outside the garden. Did I pay attention in class? Is someone taking credit for my work? Did I stay up to late and not study? It’s important that kids and even adults have these experiences of failure in the safety of the garden so we can think and process the emotions. The first time we have to handle bad news or something not going our way should not be in a room full of our peers.
Breaking down challenges in the garden and building confidence by growing something new or eating some veg we planted ourselves will become the building blocks for emotional strength in the future. These little victories give us the confidence to apply for that new job, ask out that person we like, or go back to school to get a better job to support your family. If you forget to study one night, it has not derailed your academic career. If the person you like doesn’t feel the same, you’re able to move on. Maybe you’re told you don’t have the experience needed for a new job, and you feel your confidence drying up and stress setting in. Stop, take a deep breath, and reflect on your experiences in the garden. A plant will dig their roots deeper into the soil to seek water, and so can you. Then the sun will come up tomorrow bringing a fresh light and new growth. The next seed planted might be the one to cultivate your journey. Gain perspective, and you will move forward with your dream. Just like your garden will turn up a new leaf next season and will break through the cold, dark soil and reach for the sun. Gather your tools, plant those seeds, and be vulnerable. Your garden has no expectations and only possibilities, just like your life!
The Veranda View 